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The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
So I rang up a local building firm, I said \'I want a skip outside my house.\' He said \'I\'m not stopping you.\'
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You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you\'ll be afraid to cough.
Emulate your heros, but don\'t carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
Those are my principles. If you don\'t like them I have others.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, \'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don\'t believe?
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, \'Where have I gone wrong?\' Then a voice says to me, \'This is going to take more than one night.\'
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
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Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
I hope life isn\'t a big joke ... because I don\'t get it.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn\'t it.
Honolulu, it\'s got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife\'s mother.
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: \'Can I help, sir?\' \'No thanks,\' says the blind bloke. \'Just looking.\'
Don\'t sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
Outside of a dog, a book is man\'s best friend. Inside of a dog, it\'s too dark to read.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
As the post said, \'Only God can make a tree,\' probably because it\'s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
I have not failed. I\'ve just found 10,000 ways that won\'t work.
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
I have an existential map; it has \'you are here\' written all over it.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
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You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
We don\'t make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
It\'s impossible to experience one\'s death objectively and still carry a tune.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I\'ll never know.
A man can\'t be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
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The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
A hen is only an egg痴 way of making another egg.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
The difference between \'involvement\' and \'commitment\' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was \'involved\' - the pig was \'committed\'.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
A physicist is an atom\'s way of knowing about atoms.
After every \'victory\' you have more enemies.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
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The company doesn\'t tell me what to say, and I don\'t tell themwhere to stick it.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You\'d be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it\'s good it\'s wonderful, and when it\'s bad it\'s still pretty good.
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
A man can\'t be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
After I\'m dead I\'d rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
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Love is the answer - but while you\'re waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn\'t.
But at my back I always hear Time\'s winged chariot hurrying near.
Don\'t drive me crazy -- it\'s within walking distance.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
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Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
I think \'Hail to the Chief\' has a nice ring to it.
They laughed when I said I\'d be a comedian. They aren\'t laughing now.
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
We didn\'t lose the game; we just ran out of time.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
If you haven\'t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You\'d be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
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The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
You\'re about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
If you think it\'s simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I\'m not sure about the former.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
The covers of this book are too far apart.
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And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There\'s also a negative side
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/26/(Thu) 10:27
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